The Boys in Blue have come up with a different approach to going large in Africa it seems, with the announcement this week that Pick n Pay Zambia (Ltd), incorporated in July 2009, has plans to open seven stores in the first five years of operations, creating an expected 1000 jobs, and an envisaged total of 13 stores in ten years. Pick n Pay have signed a US$27million Investment Promotion and Protection Agreement with the Zambia Development Agency for the opening of the seven phase 1 stores. Pick n Pay, you will remember, currently owns three sites in Zambia, which seems to be on a major drive to attract investment at the moment.

Comment: A drive South Africa might do well to emulate.

It’s that time of year when the Walmart watchers dust off their gumboots, polish their binoculars, and set up their little green tents outside Shoprite head office in Brackenfell. Or the Massmart offices in Westmead or the Pick n Pay offices ... you get the picture. This year Absa twitcher-in-chief Chris Gilmour is fancying Shoprite, saying that with their 124 stores across the continent, The Big Red One would be a perfect fit for The Just Plain Big One. Everyone, it seems, has been buying dinner for the Yanks, just out of courtesy you understand, and everyone has been issuing their routine denials, Shoprite’s Mr Basson with a larger-than-usual Cheshire-cat grin. Why would they come here, he asks, when China has a billion untapped punters to our 40 million?

Comment: Where there’s smoke, there’s analysts, they say.

Ukash, the world’s biggest prepaid-cash issuing estate will now be selling its vouchers at Shoprite Money Market counters. These vouchers enable you to buy whatever you like on the web, from books at Amazon to Ukrainian brides, without having to reveal your identity or credit card details to anyone, which for almost any transaction you may want to consider in cyberspace is a bonus. Globally, you can get Ukash from over 420,000 issuing points. In Namibia, connoisseurs of late-night documentaries about crab fishermen will now also be able to pay for their DStv subscriptions at Money Market counters.

Comment: Marking Money Market’s inexorable march into every furthest recess of your wallet. If you want it to.

Still on the subject of wedge and how to unload it, Woolies has come up with a new addition to their range of Plastic for the Posher Punter. Entitled the Woolworths Black Credit Card, it’s aimed at premium shoppers, and is backed by Absa, Barclays and Visa. It gives shoppers 3% back in vouchers on Woolies buys and 1% elsewhere, a free subscription to Taste (the magazine, obviously, not the sort you can’t buy), free deliveries of Woolies purchases online and – here’s the real kicker – two free cappuccinos per month. And if you come rushing in for yours before 31 May, you’ll get a grand’s worth of fashion vouchers straight off the bat.

Comment: We can see it in its glossy black splendour already, snuggling cosily into our Louis Vuitton wallet.

SA’s top wine and spirits maker Distell had a tough time of it in the first quarter, with everyone doing triathlons and aerobics, tightening their belts and generally not spending quite as much on the good stuff as they should be. The business has struggled to increase profits since January, as strapped punters have migrated to less premium brands than those on offer at Distell. On the upside, Distell has been licensed by Fifa to sell some its products to bellowing fans during the great palaver in the middle of the year, which will be nice.

Comment: And if everyone’s having as hectic an April as we are, things should soon start looking up for Distell.

Despite people cutting back on everything from fancy motors to premium booze (see Distell above), there is one area where they are maintaining their preference for the plusher experience, and that is...OK we can’t do this. Basically, Kimberley Clark have seen no let up in demand for the old two-ply, and are thus investing R100bar in a premium toilet paper converting plant in its Springs factory. According to K-C, there has been some movement, if you will excuse the pun, from branded bogroll to private label, but punters are unwilling to compromise on the number of plys they’ll tolerate. The SA toilet paper industry is worth R2billion annually, with the premium segment accounting for 39.2% of that. K-C is looking at doubling premium penetration in the SA market, hence this investment. By the way, they already produce 50,000 tons of this humblest of papers per annum. The Baby Soft brand leads the premium market with a luxurious share of 45%.

Comment: Fascinating numbers from a giant of the industry.

Private sector borrowing fell by 0.6% in February, after dropping 1.1% in January, and less than expected. And general consumer credit and mortgage finance has risen by a healthy 3.5% year-on-year in February, and R21.3billion for the quarter – at a time when corporate credit declined by R6.6billion. Home loans were up 0.7% or R7.2billion for February also, and vehicle sales were up 14.9% in March. The demand for credit is expected to rise, buoyed by a more favourable economic outlook, low interest rates, improving real income growth and looser credit criteria.

Comment: And two months back we are swearing off credit for the rest of lives, pledging undying allegiance to our 2002 Ford Ranger and promising ourselves a brimming money market account by June.

One more may now be added to number of reasons farmers have to rail against the Gods: success. They hate the stuff. Their bumper crops in ’08 and (the marginally less bountiful) ’09 mean that the world is now awash in edible things, including maize, wheat and sunflowers, and through the perverse logic of market forces, you can’t get rid of the stuff for love or money, especially the latter. The net income of SA’s agricultural sector is down 15%, and indebtedness is up 10% or by R38.8billion in the case of the former, and R51.9billion in the case of the latter. Income in the wheat, maize and sunflower sector was down 21.2% to R31.8billion, with wheat (somewhat poetically) the Biggest Loser at 45%.

Comment: High time the tyranny of the market was overthrown in the food production business. At least, that’s what we would think if we were red-toothed Marxists. Which we off course aren’t.

According to the number crunchers over at Ipsos Marketing, 80% of consumers globally see no difference between national brands and private label across a range of criteria, including meeting their needs, being good for their families, caring for the environment and exuding trust. Fair enough, though what it says about us that we need an inanimate box of soap flakes to “exude trust”...

Tesco has announced its intention to own 10% of the UK’s financial services market within the next ten years. Tesco’s credit card business already makes up 10% of the UK market, while they own 4% of the motor insurance market. They’re going into mortgages later this year and will be offering current accounts to customers in 2011.

Nestlé’s fastest growing brand, Nespresso, which has enjoyed first-mover advantage for over a decade, is finally under some pressure from rivals like Sara Lee’s D’Or brand and Ethical Coffee, both of whom are bringing their own versions to the market of those little UFO shaped capsules which when pierced and steamed and generally mistreated produce something very much like real coffee. Last year, Nespresso owned 19% of the European and North American coffee markets and is aiming for 25% by 2015.

Woolies has employed photographer Oliviero Toscani, who isn’t from these parts, but is the man behind the United Colours of Benetton campaigns, to shoot the campaign for its winter Play the World range, out this week, using iconic non-blonde Alek Wek as a model as well as our very own Lucas Radebe, himself a tried and tested Woolies clothes horse, and a South African, which is nice.